Happiness

At the New Year, many people create Resolutions. It is a way to create something new in our lives or make some change.  However, after a month it seems they dissipate.

For the past three years I have created a Theme for the year instead of a Resolution.  It has been amazing and so fulfilling. The theme allows me to focus and make decisions throughout the year to really embody that word.

Last year my theme was Clarity.  I chose clarity because I was feeling unclear in my business and in my life. I didn’t know what I wanted. I wanted clarity in my work, in my relationships, in my goals and my mission for the world.  Throughout the year I ended most words I wrote, whether on private FB posts or in my journal, with “I seek clarity and this is my clarity”.

Through this theme I am clearer than ever about my life and my business.  I accept what I desire and it is an amazing feeling.

This year my theme is Happiness.  I am so clear about this theme for 2017.  I desire to create more happiness in my life.  And I desire to help other woman, like you, become happier!

The definition is a state of well-being that encompasses living a good life – that is, with a sense of meaning and deep satisfaction.  Research shows that happiness is not the result of bouncing from one joy to the next; achieving happiness typically involves times of considerable discomfort.

I would love for you to choose YOUR theme for 2017 and then I would LOVE for you to share it with me. When we all know our themes we can support one another in embodying them.  Post them below!

Take your time to sit with the themes that come to you, read the definitions, really feel into them.  If you have any questions or need support identifying your theme, let us know.

If you want to go a step further you can create a vision board around it as I have done below.

You must first, believe

The other day my youngest son said to me…when I grow up I want to make a portal so that we can travel to other places in an instant.

My first thought was, that is impossible.  You can’t actually do that.  I caught myself because I know enough to know that I should not kill his dreams.

So instead of crushing his little heart, I said, that is so cool, how are you going to make that happen?  He began to tell me all the ways he will make that happen. First, I will become a scientist, he said. Good plan, I thought.

But more importantly he wholeheartedly believes in his dream. There is no doubt in his mind that he can create a portal.

I doubt my own dreams. I believe they are impossible and I cannot make them happen. I put limits on them.

There is NOT one part of me that believes I could create a portal. Even though it is not my dream, I obviously have limits.

Recently, I decided my next dream is to buy a cabin in Tahoe. I hadn’t told anyone because as soon as I decided, I started doubting myself and wondering how it was actually going to happen.

It really got me wondering. Why do we sabotage our own dreams? Why do we say we want something and then don’t even go after it?  Why don’t we believe?

While I don’t know the exact answers to these questions, what I do know is that it doesn’t have to be this way.  This is what I have discovered from observing my beliefs and my limits.

First, you must believe you can have what you desire.

If you do not believe you have already sabotaged it. Believing it is the single most important thing you can do to make it happen.

I recently heard a story that totally inspired me.  A study was done with a set of hotel maids.  They measured the exercise they were getting by changing the bed sheets, vacuuming, and cleaning.  They found that the amount of exercise they were getting was way above the amount that any one person needs to be thin.  But all of these women were overweight.

So they told half of the women that they were getting more than enough exercise to lose weight.  And they told the other half nothing.

Within one month all of the women had lost weight just from changing their beliefs.

Guess what happen with the other half, yep, nothing, they stayed the same.

Second, you have to become so attached to it, so inspired by it, so committed to it that you continue to believe in it.

You cannot just simply believe in one moment.  You must continually re-visit it and feel it over and over again. And that, my love, requires a change in your mind.

You will no doubt go back to your old beliefs, your old ways.

You have to wake up every morning with an intention that you are going to go out and create your day, create your life. You are going to take one step, make one change in your life that leads you to your desires.

Third, you must take action.

You must begin to do the things that you are required to do to make it happen. You cannot just sit on your couch and will it.

Most of us want something but we aren’t really willing to take the steps to make it happen.  Not really.

We see the vision, we see the future but because it isn’t already here we say, it is not happening.  It isn’t working.  If it were already here, it wouldn’t be your vision. You would have a different vision.

We give up way to fast.

You live moment to moment doing the same things you were doing yesterday and nothing changes. The desire will not come alive unless you begin to make a change. DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

So then…

What is your dream? What do you really want? Are you willing to believe in it?  Are you willing to commit to it?  Are you willing to do the things, create the changes that are going to make that thing happen. 

I invite you to start thinking in this way. Start planning for your future, start making changes in your life to become happier, healthier, more present, more involved, give back, make more money, whatever it is. Start those changes in your mind. Don’t sabotage your dreams!  Become them.

Talk to your body with kindness

There is this kind of devotion I have with my body, like a pact you might have with a friend. I promise to take care of you to the best of my ability and knowing.

I am pretty sure I was born with pain in my body. I am pretty sure that everything that has occurred with my body has been and still is present for a reason.

Even though I have pain, I treat my body with kindness and so much love.

Has it always been this way? Definitely not!

I used to get angry at my body because it is a painful body. I carry around pain in my neck and back and hips and have for as long as I can remember.

I used to get mad at my legs because they weren’t muscular and they had cellulite. I didn’t like my boobs because they were too small. My hair was too thick. My feet too baby like. My stomach too sensitive. My eyes too small. My eyelashes too short.

And yet with all this judgement, my body is just a body.  It wishes that I accepted it fully. It tries its very best to work efficiently.  It desires my full acceptance.

I have learned over time that if I talk to my body with kindness it is sooo much happier.  It actually works better FOR me and I have less pain.

I have learned over time if I accept my body fully, I feel better in it. I am more comfortable in it.  And what is better than being comfortable in your body.

I have this theory that if you are happy in your body, you are happy in your life.

I tell you this because I believe wholeheartedly in the importance of treating our bodies amazingly well. It is different for everyone. What we choose to do to care for our bodies is as unique as our human experience.

I shared all of this on our recent live call Reflect and Recharge Your Body.  And I shared how I got to this point with my body.  Hint:  It took a lot of planning and action taking.

Take a listen.  I also share a really cool meditation that I do called Rainbow Cells.

Surrender your mind to your heart

I always start my yoga classes like this:

Sit in simple cross-legs.  Ground your sit bones and create a nice long spine.  Take a few deep breaths and get comfortable in your seated position.

Bring your hands in Namaste right at your heart space.  Relax your shoulders and lift your chest toward your hands. Bow your head to your hands.

Bowing your head to your hands is a representation of surrendering the mind to your heart space. 

To me it shows deep respect for my body.  It reminds me to move through the world from my heart rather than from my head, where there lives WILD judgement.

For the first few years of my life I could not eat any foods except rice, bananas, and goats milk.  I would throw all other foods up.  At the age of 7 I began having chronic pain in my body. I couldn’t sit or stand for long periods of time.  My mom took me to the doctor a few times and they couldn’t find anything wrong with me except mild scoliosis.

When I got to college, and was taking care of myself I realized very quickly that I needed to make some changes.  Nutritional changes as well as physical changes.  My digestion was terrible and my pain was more than annoying.

So I set off to make some changes.  I found yoga and started learning about food.

What I realized very quickly was that food and yoga were going to be my initial steps to creating a healthy body.  In just a few months, my pain subsided and my digestion was getting better.

I also found that my mind was changing. It was more present.  I now know it as presence but at the time it felt as though I was paying attention to small things like brushing my teeth.

Yoga and many other physical practices build presence in the mind because you learn to concentrate.  You cannot think about anything else but what your body is doing when you are holding yoga poses. You begin to witness your body and it takes you right out of your wild mind.

You start to pay close attention to your body and you truly take care of it.  And when you are taking care of your body, EVERYTHING else it better.

Every time I sit in cross legs at the beginning of class and bow my head, I have deep gratitude for my body and what it has taught me and will continue to teach me.

I invite you to bring your hands to your heart space, bow your head, and listen within.  What is your body telling you?  What does it want from you?  What does it need?

______________

This November, I am co-teaching a retreat with my dear friend Ali Schiller.  We have been friends for many years and have witnessed each other’s Wild Minds no doubt.

We jokingly will say, there goes that wild mind again.

Together we have created a retreat like no other.  One that is going to teach you all of our personal practices for witnessing and taming the wild mind.  Giving you the opportunity to learn to witness and tame your own mind.

Yoga, dance, self-massage, nourishment, meditation, breathing, journaling, silence are some of the practices we will deliver with an open heart.

It is one that I am deeply honored to teach.

I hope you will be there to experience the transformation.

Overwork, overwhelm, and exhaustion

Your hair looks different but I knew it was you because you are in a hurry and you are always in a hurry.

Well yah isn’t everyone in a hurry?

Yah, that’s just life.

This is the conversation I overheard at the store today.  And it reminded me of myself the last few weeks.

However, I know it isn’t life. It is me.

Life isn’t in a hurry. We are in a hurry because we choose to be.

Yesterday I hit a wall of overwork, overwhelm and exhaustion.

It has been two weeks of creating a FULL schedule for myself.

It is not life’s fault, it is mine.

In the past two weeks I have managed to lock myself out my house twice and lock my entire purse in the car. And I don’t have a spare key 

I called my mom and the first thing she said was…what’s going on?

I replied, I am overworked, overwhelmed, and exhausted!

These are three words I don’t usually use to describe myself. But sometimes I feel it.

Misplacing my keys three times was a definite sign.

What I realized very quickly after expressing all of my overwhelm with my confidants is that I have created no real space in my life as of late.

I have been sitting in silence in the morning but not really.  I have been sitting outside but only for a minute.  I have been working but I haven’t been as present as I could be.  I have been spending time with my kids but not “real” time.  I have been eating but it has been mindless. I have been moving from one thing to another with no space in between.

So what did I do? I cleared my schedule for the next two weeks, except for the things I absolutely have or want to do. I cleared my home space. I put things away that didn’t need to be out. I swept the back patio. I woke up a half hour earlier this morning and I sat in silence with space.

I created space to breathe, to sit, to eat, to enjoy nature, to read and to pay bills, to write people back with awareness, to pick up my kids without running, to write my blog without rushing. And to go camping with my family.

And what I realized is that I haven’t been paying attention. Paying attention to the little details.  I haven’t been walking slowly and breathing deeply.

We all need to create space in our lives. We choose our life. We choose to rush, to hurry and to be busy. We decide that. And we can make a different choice.  We can do things with space around them.

Life flows. It blossoms, it celebrates, it lets go, and it sits.  And then it repeats itself. Nature is moving into letting go.

It is time for us to create space to let go too.

We can choose to flow with it or against it.  It is truly your choice.

Sadness is a good thing

I enjoy being sad.  Not all the time but when it occurs inside of me I welcome it.

Why?  Because it brings a sense of calm and peace after it resides. In the moment it is full of tears.  It can feel confusing and scary and sometimes heartbreaking depending on the situation.

But after there is a sense of release that comes from bouts of sadness.  The tears roll down my face representing the release of all the emotions that are inside of me. It is a release and a letting go.

Not only do I welcome sadness, but I welcome the entire rainbow of emotions.  Some are more difficult to be in but I can feel how all of them are necessary and helpful for my growth as a person and my overall well-being.

All emotions teach us about ourselves.

They teach us what we love and what we don’t love.  They teach us what patterns we hold inside ourselves.  They teach us what light us up.  Beliefs we hold.  Things that are valuable or invaluable to us.  They are our guidance system.

But instead of looking for the lesson, we feel like something is wrong if we are sad or angry or anxious or even happy.  We try and come up with reasons for why we shouldn’t feel the way we do.

I get it because I used to do that too.  I used to think that I had to wipe away my tears when I was sad. That sadness was bad.  I would apologize when I cried.

We have been trained to shy away from feeling our emotions. Sometimes we don’t even know how we feel.

I believe it is so important to feel the emotion and accept the truth of it.  Not the…I’m angry but I’m not supposed to feel this way so something is wrong…or worse I am going to pretend that I’m not angry.

And interestingly if we don’t actually feel the emotion fully and feel the truth of the experience, the body holds onto the anger and the mind holds onto the experience and then a pattern is created.  (This is a whole other topic).  And the energy does not shift.

Allow your energy to shift from sad to angry to happy to excited. Feel everything without shying away from anything.  Feel it, be in it, and then let it go.  

When you feel something that feels uncomfortable (and this can be a positive emotion as well). Take a deep breath and feel it in your heart and then go deeper and feel it in your pelvic bowl. And then feel it in your entire body. Become present to the feeling of it, name it and then let it go.

I sang on stage

Nervous was just a little glimpse into what I was feeling as I embarked cross country to go on retreat.  I wasn’t feeling like doing any personal development work.  I was thinking, personal work sounds exhausting right now and honestly, I’m good.

All I wanted to do was connect with my sisters and sleep.

But the thing I knew (that I was kind of ignoring) was that I had to get up on stage and speak.  Yep you heard that right. Speak on stage!

The retreat was titled “Captivate”.   The purpose was to learn to captivate your audience with your message.

What was my message, what story did I want to share?  How vulnerable did I really want to be?

In the end I realized that this is what I was really nervous about.

I stayed in a house with 4 other women who were also on the retreat.  One night while sitting around the table we were talking about our speeches, I told them that I was planning to speak about my relationship with my husband but that I had this other idea.  That idea involved standing up on stage and singing.  A fear that I have held onto for a long time.

Back up, back up. You were going to sing?, they said.

Yes, when I was young I was told by my family that I was a terrible singer but I loved to sing and so I stopped singing in front of people a long time ago.  And I thought I could bust through my fear by singing on stage.

What were you going to sing?, one sister said (who happens to be a singer).

I was going to sing, Whitney Houston.

What song? The Greatest Love Of All?, she said.

Yes!  That’s the one, because I love it.

So of course they wanted me to get up and sing it.

So I did.

I got up and I sang. At first I felt foolish and I messed up but then I closed my eyes and I sang and when I opened my eyes, they were all smiling.

They loved it.  (And they advised some coaching and more emphasis on the notes :).

So I decided that is what I was going to speak about and I was going to get up on stage and sing.  I wish I had a video to share with you because it was one of the greatest moments of my life.  But you will have to imagine it.

The thing I learned, we are programmed to be a certain way.  To do certain things. Certainty is safe.  If we venture out of our comfort zone we get to grow and change and become something else.  Something that isn’t certain, that is more exciting and fun.  We take chances and really go for what we want.  And in turn we get to live the life we truly desire.

I am not a great singer, I like to sing.  I don’t want to be a singer.  When I was young I wanted to sing and I was told I couldn’t so I didn’t.  Getting up on stage made me realize that there are things I want to do and if I let someone else tell me I can’t, then I won’t.  And that isn’t okay with me anymore.

Our lives are ultimately really short.  I say go for it!  Go for the things you want, do the things you want to do. Bust through your fears because it is worth it!

My food is what my body wants

I had a big scare last week when my son came running in from his bedroom complaining of a stomach ache. It is not unusual for him to have a stomach ache, usually it means he needs to go to the bathroom.  So I suggested he try the bathroom.  But that didn’t work.

He crawled in bed with me and I rubbed his tummy and his back.  As the day went on his pain was worse. He was having trouble standing up straight and he was crying out of fear that something was really wrong. He took 4 baths and two showers because he says water always makes him feel better.  I agree.

After hours and hours of this we went to the doctor.  Her diagnosis was either the stomach flu or Appendicitis.

Appendicitis I thought!  Oh boy how am I ever going to explain what happens when you have appendicitis to a boy who already worries about everything.  I was instantly stressed.  I had to watch him closely for the next 24 hours.  Toward the end of the day I was so hungry because I had taken care of him and not myself.

Usually when I am stressed and hungry I get take out or eat something quick.

This time I decided that I was going to cook nourishing food and sit down at the table.  My husband was with me and my son was resting so I felt it was possible.

So I did. I cooked “my food” and sat down and ate and felt so much better afterward, so much less stressed. I was relieved with my decision and realized that “my food” is what my body really wants all the time.  It thrives on it, it works better with it. It wants simple, nourishing, and whole foods.

I am realizing this more and more as I get older. Food is self-care.  Food is medicine.  Food is so important.

Dead or alive?

Hello Love,

The other day I grabbed a bag of potatoes in my kitchen. On the bag, it said, “Imperfect Potatoes, Cosmetically Challenged, Farmers and Reduce Food Waste.”

I looked at the potatoes and thought…REALLY, they look okay to me.

There was clearly nothing wrong with them, but because they are imperfect they may not sell.  Do they look imperfect to you? (see above picture)

And then I thought, what about all the cans of potatoes that are sold. I bet you they are imperfect, but because they have pretty labels, they sell.

So the potatoes that are just picked, that still have life in them, that will provide you with the nutrients your body needs are thrown out because they are ugly.  But the potatoes that are canned, and have very little to no life in them, do not provide you with the nutrients your body needs are sold no problem, because they have  a pretty label that makes you believe you are buying something that is good for you.

Hmmmmmm????

Food is energy and it will make you feel alive. It will provide you with the energy you desire to have.  But only if you eat food that is ALIVE, ugly or not, irregular or not.

It will not provide you with energy or make you feel alive if it is dead food.  Canned food is dead food.

You can think of it like this.

When you pick your food and eat it right away, it has the most life because it just died.

When you buy your food at grocery stores it may have just been picked (if it is local) or it may have been picked, placed on a truck, driven for days to its destination, delivered, and stocked.

The closer it is to dying before it is consumed, the more life and energy it has to give to you.  Which means less need for food. We tend to eat more than we need to eat because the food we consume is already dead so it isn’t providing the nutrients our body needs.  So we continue to eat to try and give it what it needs only to find ourselves over-eating.

Try and choose your foods based on where it came from or how far it traveled and what processes it has gone through.  The more alive foods you choose, the more local and in season foods you eat, the more energy you will have.

I know this is not an easy thing to do all the time.  It isn’t always easy to shop at your local farmers market or drive 25 miles for milk straight from the cow. I get it.  Sometimes it is easier to open a can of potatoes.  But if we do it in little increments and feel into the aliveness of our food we will feel the affects and notice the energy it provides and we will want more of it.  And that will begin to curb our choices and we will begin to make better choices to support our bodies.

The next time you go to choose your foods, I offer you this practice.  Stop and think about how alive your food is? Where has it come from?  How far did it travel?  What kind of process has it gone through?

What is your food journey?

And the August topic of the month is….NUTRITION.

I have been wanting to delve into this topic for a while now and I thought August might be a perfect month, since it is right in the middle of summer and that means there are a lot of vibrant foods at the Farmers Market and in stores.

I embarked on a serious food journey about 12 years ago.

I was born with many allergies, which at that time was not as normal as it is now.  As a baby, I threw up almost every food so I lived on rice, goat’s milk, and bananas for the first 3 years of my life. It was fine until I started getting bored and wanting other foods.

My next go-to food was eggs.  Even though I was allergic to them, I ordered one over easy egg everywhere I went.  It wasn’t a severe allergic reaction but I would get a stomach ache and a rash.

As I grew, my allergic reactions lessened as so I was able to eat just about anything; however, I still received rashes and stomach aches.

And guess what, I still do to this day.  I like to pretend that I am normal and that I can eat anything but in reality my body would be happy with goat’s milk, rice, and bananas and green juice!

About 12 years ago, I knew I had to make a change.

So I began with a simple 7 day cleanse, taking out dairy, wheat, sugar, meat, and any processed foods.  It was transformational. I had never felt better, my skin changed, and going to the bathroom was a breeze.

There was definitely something there for me.

Since then I have done many cleanses, all very different and I have tried all the diets…raw foods, vegan, vegetarian, paleo, etc.

I will say this, they all have one thing in common, vegetables!

Leafy greens and colorful veggies.

I am not exclusively any one of these diets, I focus more on intuition and what I feel like my body needs.  I stay away from dairy and wheat most of the time and I eat tons and tons of vegetables!

And it works for me.

We all have a food journey, sometimes it is physical and sometimes it is mental/emotional but most of us have one.

I am hoping that during the month of August we can delve into Nutrition and Food and it will take us through a journey of self-discovery and awareness around food and will lessen our challenges.

I would love to hear…

Are you currently struggling when it comes to food?  And if you are what is your biggest struggle?

Comment below.