Overwork, overwhelm, and exhaustion

Your hair looks different but I knew it was you because you are in a hurry and you are always in a hurry.

Well yah isn’t everyone in a hurry?

Yah, that’s just life.

This is the conversation I overheard at the store today.  And it reminded me of myself the last few weeks.

However, I know it isn’t life. It is me.

Life isn’t in a hurry. We are in a hurry because we choose to be.

Yesterday I hit a wall of overwork, overwhelm and exhaustion.

It has been two weeks of creating a FULL schedule for myself.

It is not life’s fault, it is mine.

In the past two weeks I have managed to lock myself out my house twice and lock my entire purse in the car. And I don’t have a spare key 

I called my mom and the first thing she said was…what’s going on?

I replied, I am overworked, overwhelmed, and exhausted!

These are three words I don’t usually use to describe myself. But sometimes I feel it.

Misplacing my keys three times was a definite sign.

What I realized very quickly after expressing all of my overwhelm with my confidants is that I have created no real space in my life as of late.

I have been sitting in silence in the morning but not really.  I have been sitting outside but only for a minute.  I have been working but I haven’t been as present as I could be.  I have been spending time with my kids but not “real” time.  I have been eating but it has been mindless. I have been moving from one thing to another with no space in between.

So what did I do? I cleared my schedule for the next two weeks, except for the things I absolutely have or want to do. I cleared my home space. I put things away that didn’t need to be out. I swept the back patio. I woke up a half hour earlier this morning and I sat in silence with space.

I created space to breathe, to sit, to eat, to enjoy nature, to read and to pay bills, to write people back with awareness, to pick up my kids without running, to write my blog without rushing. And to go camping with my family.

And what I realized is that I haven’t been paying attention. Paying attention to the little details.  I haven’t been walking slowly and breathing deeply.

We all need to create space in our lives. We choose our life. We choose to rush, to hurry and to be busy. We decide that. And we can make a different choice.  We can do things with space around them.

Life flows. It blossoms, it celebrates, it lets go, and it sits.  And then it repeats itself. Nature is moving into letting go.

It is time for us to create space to let go too.

We can choose to flow with it or against it.  It is truly your choice.