Who are you?

Happy July 4th everyone!  I know it has been a week since the celebration of America’s Independence but I am still feeling the effects of that celebration.

My family and I went on a camping vacation to Tahoe and it was the most beautiful, soulful, playful vacation we have ever been on.  My husband and I were high-fiving because we wore our boys out and usually it is the other way around.  But within all of the activity and play we also did a lot of taking and sitting together which really made my heart happy.

While on vacation, I read a book called, “Self-Care for the Self-Aware”, recommended by a good friend who was helping me learn more about myself.

It leads me to the topic of July, Learning Who You Are.

While I believe learning who you want to be and what you want to do in your life is important, I believe learning about who we are right now is even more important.

And I believe it is the first step to truly understanding what you want in your life.

How can you truly know what you want if you don’t know who you are right now?

If I asked you the question, who are you?…what comes up for you?

For me, I stumble over my words.  I say a lot of “um well”.  I start with easy things like, well I am a mom and a wife.  My words get mixed up and I get shy.

I tend to start with things like I am a mom and a wife.  I say I am a yoga teacher and a life coach.  While these things are me, they could be anyone so what makes me unique.

What makes you unique?

The things that makes me unique are…I am an empath and I am highly sensitive so I get overwhelmed in big crowds and I am learning how to navigate that.  I am a really good mom, I get down to eye level with my boys when talking with them so I can really hear what they are saying and I find myself speaking softer that way.  I don’t ask for help from my family very often and when I do it is an explosion (working on this one).  I have a strong guiding voice that leads me to make really good decisions but only when I listen.  I am really good at communicating my feelings with my husband and I am a really good wife.  I am a very open person and love spending time analyzing my thoughts, sitting alone, and connecting to my spiritual voice.  I love building legos and I get really sad when they break.  I love free flowing clothing, my style is a cross between boho and relaxed, practical and comfortable. And I am so much more…

By taking the time to learn about who you are right now, you discover your strengths and weaknesses, where you are powerful and where you are not, where you thrive and where you do not.  Where you need help and where you do not.  Where you want to grow and where you are doing just fine.

It helps us identify what is truly important to us not what we think is important.

And you will learn that you are perfect just as you are, right now, in this moment.

I believe we are here to live this journey of life and to discover what lights us up, what we are good at, who we are and what we love.

There is nothing wrong with your current life.  You have everything you need to thrive.

Are their challenges, absolutely!

But the thinking.. if I had the perfect job, the perfect husband, the perfect kids, the perfect financial situation then I would be happy is the ONE thought that makes us not happy.

It isn’t about what you don’t have and what you want.  It is about who you are right now in this moment.

I would love to know…Who are you right now? What makes you unique?

Answer in the comments below.

Learning to give and to receive

Recently I have been playing with the balance of giving and receiving.  I find it easier to give then to receive and I am noticing it more and more.  The feminine energy is really about receiving and I am definitely out of balance.

In a timely matter, my life created two instances where I could practice receiving. I received two gifts from different students within two days of each other. One was a beautiful blue water bottle and the other was the most thoughtful card with a beautiful OM bookmark.  I decided to open both in an instant and truly receive the gift being given to me.  It was uncomfortable but it felt good to practice.

My life also showed me another place where I don’t receive enough.  I don’t give myself the gift of asking for what I need.

Last week I spent three full days with my kids playing.  I fully surrendered to what they wanted to do for those three days doing the minimum of what I had to do.

On the fourth day I decided I needed some “me time”.  So I asked them if I could workout for 45 minutes at the gym while they went to the kids club.  They did not like that one bit!  My oldest told me he was not going to do that and my youngest followed right along with him.  I told them that they didn’t have a choice this time and they were going to go because mommy needed some “me time”.

We went, I worked out, they went to the kids club.  I picked them up and instead of happy, great to see you faces…. I got, grumpy I am mad at you, faces.

Needless to say, I was really irritated.  I felt like I had just spent three days doing everything they wanted to do (not everything I wanted to do) and I deserved 45 minutes doing something I wanted to do.

So I had a “talking to”.  That is what I call a serious, let’s get something straight, kind of conversation.

I told them that a relationship means that you give and receive. I expressed having given them all of my time the last few days and needing a short amount of time for me and that they weren’t willing to give that to me. I told them how frustrated I felt and how unfair I felt they were acting.  I said we don’t always like to do things that others like to do but when we love someone we do our best to give to them even if we aren’t necessarily overjoyed about it.

It was a beautiful teaching moment for them and for me.

It reminded me that we don’t always enjoy doing things that others enjoy doing but we do it for them because we love them and we love to see them happy.  

And it reminded me that we must ask for what we want because it is a form of receiving. It is like giving ourselves a gift.  Finding the balance between giving and receiving can be difficult but is so incredibly necessary.

If we listen, to what children are going through, we will discover what we are going through as well.  

...space to be...

I received a beautiful gift from Eckhart Tolle today, a quote that reads, “If you have young children, give them help, guidance, and protection to the best of your ability, but even more important, give them space —space to be.”

I read this and felt a huge surge of YES move through my body.

Allowing our kids to be, giving them space to grow and learn and mess up and be beautiful all at the same time allows our children to be who they are.

And while this sounds easy it is not!

Last week I received guidance for my youngest son.  He has a lot of energy and can be intense and loud.  My husband and I are fairly quiet.  The TV is never loud; our music is always low in the background. We try not to raise our voices or scream or yell. We have created a fairly quiet and mellow family dynamic.  Our youngest; however,  has some other ideas for our family voice level. It can be frustrating for the rest of us, including his brother who will cover his ears at times.

I received some timely guidance from a trusted source who said, just let him be, let him yell if he needs. Don’t show him any attention, just ignore him and act as though it is normal.

It made me think, YES, this is in acceptance of who he is.  He is not trying to be mean, he is not trying to annoy us, it is just who he is.

And we can either fight him and show him our frustrations and try to change him to mold him into our ways. Or we can accept him just as he is, guide him, and give him space to BE.

We choose the latter and so far everyone is happier and he is bringing a different kind of joy into the home. A loud yet sweet side that gets my husband and I laughing and loving more.

Isn’t it true that we often try to mold our kids into something that they are not out of fear.  Fear of how they might be taken outside of the home or fear that they may cultivate parts of ourselves that we don’t really like.

It isn’t intentional, it is a pattern in us, in all of us.  It is time for us to work to let go of that pattern.

Today, I take a stand today for our kids, to raise them by accepting who they are fully and openly and by allowing them to then accept who they are fully and openly.

With that I believe we can change the world. Are you with me??

I would love for you to comment with a big YES on the blog today.

I'm really sorry for...

Responsibility is something we all want from our children.

I often hear parents and teachers say to their children (when they have forgotten their library book), now who is responsible for remembering?  However, these kids are 1st and 2nd graders.  Do they need to be that responsible? Isn’t their job to play and have fun and be a kid.

Responsibility comes with time.  They will grow up and understand that their library book needs to be returned on time or they will have to pay.  And that is sure to get them responsible.

Today, I want to have a different kind of responsibility conversation.  One that doesn’t have monetary consequences but will indeed have many others.

I want my children to be responsible for their emotions, for their actions, for saying sorry when they know they have done something wrong. For owning up to who they are, good and bad, right and wrong.

I believe, as parents,  we can teach this by showing our children that WE are self-responsible.

The other day, my boys were running around playing football with some friends. I was on the sidelines watching.  My oldest son began pushing my younger son and tackling him.  It looked a bit rough to me and so I got involved.

In hindsight I didn’t need to get involved, they were playing football. But because I did, both my boys got upset with each other.  The older because I was upset with him and the younger because he attached onto my anger (thinking his brother was in the wrong).

They were still arguing when we got into the car.  So I stopped the car and told them that we needed to talk. They rolled their eyes and let out a big sigh.

I told them that I was really sorry, that I recognized that I got involved in the football game and that it was unnecessary. I recognized that they were taking their anger out on each other when they were really upset with me for getting involved in their play.

They were surprised to hear my self-responsibility because they thought I was going to tell them what they were doing wrong. They responded with happiness and went about their day with no arguments.

As a parent I think it is so important to recognize when we feel we have overreacted or done something wrong and tell our children.  They are very forgiving human beings and every time I have accepted responsibility they have turned around and said, its ok mom.

It is such a blessing to get this recognition from your children and it is really empowering!

And in turn they do the same.  They recognize and take responsibility for themselves.  It is a beautiful thing.

I would LOVE to know a time when you were self-responsible by sharing something about yourself with your children or partner. Maybe it was like me, when you overreacted and apologized to your children.

I you feel comfortable, comment below!

Freedom to be you

At the beginning of 2016 I decided to take on a topic each month and write about it.  It was an idea that came to me like a bolt of lightening, as they often do, because I wan’t to make writing easier.  I love to connect with you but sometimes I have a hard time thinking of what to say.

It HAS made it easier and to my surprise it has done so much more than that.  It has made connecting with you way more fun and it has brought me more freedom. Not in the way you may imagine though.

In February I talked all about Time, March it was Money, April: Self-Care, and May: Spirituality.  I have an idea for June but would love your feedback on the blog.

As I write about each of these topics I also think about them and find myself buying books, reading blogs and listening to podcast.  I am finding myself engulfed in these topics even after the month is over.

It isn’t out of necessity or feeling like I have to.  It is because I am choosing topics I really want to look more deeply into.

After writing about time I realized that I wasn’t honoring myself by using my time wisely.  I was doing things I didn’t want to be doing because I didn’t want to say no.  It lead me to read Essentialism:  The Disciplines Pursuit of Less which has taught me that NO is valuable and necessary to living a happy life.  Freedom to say no has brought me more freedom to say yes when I really want to.

When I finished with money I knew I had a lot of work to do but I wasn’t sure what that looked like. After having coffee with a friend, the topic of money came up and wallah, it was right in front of me! My husband and I are in a finance class and it is amazing to finally learn how to spend money wisely.  We are finding more freedom in spending money because we are CHOOSING where we want to spend our money based on what is truly important to us.

Self-care was one of those topics I have always been really good at.  I found freedom in knowing this. Knowing that I take good care of myself and there is no reason to do more.

Spirituality has given me a run for my money and has opened me up to the Cosmos. Not kidding here, literally, I have always loved channeling, crystals, mystics and such but I am following more mystics and I am reading 5 spiritual books right now, 5 at one time!  I have found more freedom to explore. Holy fun!

I have discovered this: when you deeply look into parts of your life it is usually because you feel that you are lacking. In reality, you are not lacking at all. You are choosing to gain more clarity into your life.  And when you gain more clarity, you gain more freedom to be you because you know who you are.

My desire is to help you find your freedom in your life.  Freedom to say no, freedom to spend money without worry, freedom in knowing and freedom to explore.  Freedom to seek what you DESIRE.

It is not about lacking something, we spend to much time thinking about how we are NOT DOING.  How we are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough.  That is not freedom.  Freedom is living your life. Loving, sharing, growing, learning, thriving!

If you are called to my work I would LOVE to support you. I have 3 one-on-one openings starting June 6th, 2016.

Synchronicity

Do you ever come across synchronicity in your life?  Like you think about something and then it happens soon after.

Well I have been experiencing a whole lot of it lately.  I will find myself thinking of something or wanting to do something and then someone will bring up that very same thing minutes later.  It is such a weird and cool feeling.

Last week after watching the movie, I had a crazy moment happen.  I literally could not believe my eyes.  I was in total awe of the synchronicity of life.  Of how whatever I was talking to had answered me. Of how I was supposed to watch the movie and read those exact pages of the book.  Of how we are ALL in the exact place we are supposed to be ad if we listen, if we deeply listen we will hear the call of our souls.

Watch the video to find out more.

After watching the video, I would love to hear about a time when you experienced synchronicity in your life? If you are willing comment below.

Acceptance of all that is

Last night I watched the movie, “The Stanford Prison Experiment”.  I don’t usually watch movies that are highly emotional (in a negative way) because it gets my heart beating and my mind in a negative place.

However, I had no idea it was going to be so intense and I had studied the experiment in college so I was really interested in seeing the movie.

It is based on a psychological experiment that was conducted in the 70’s at Stanford. 20 college kids were hired to assimilate a prison environment for two weeks. Half of them were guards, the other half prisoners. Within the first two days the guards took charge and became aggressive and demeaning.  Some of the prisoners began to go crazy, some insane and others conformed to the process.  The experiment was shut down after 6 days.

I did not make it through the whole movie, I had to step away. It was too much for me to handle.

I kept thinking about how intense humanity can be and how suppressive and mean we can be to each other.

And yet, isn’t that part of life.  Aren’t we oppressive and mean to each other and to ourselves. Isn’t it part of the world.  I would not have been able to identify with the boys in the movie if I had not experienced a similar kind of pain. The sadness, the guilt, the insanity of feeling like we are bad.

Obviously there are different levels and I am fortunate to have been born into a place and a family where there is an amplitude of opportunity and love.  And some people are born into places where oppression, pain and suffering exists more often than not.

But I bet we can all agree that we understand this kind of pain at some level.

I understood last night that I have NOT been accepting all that is, I have sheltered my world with goodness and positivity and enjoyment and peace.  And while it has served me in many ways, I feel the desire to accept all that is.  And that means seeing the good and the BAD.  Feeling the good and the BAD.

I always say that sadness feels really good.  But only when we accept it and allow it to be present.  I was sad last night and it didn’t feel so good because I was denying it.  I was denying the pain and the suffering of the world instead of wholly accepting it.

Spirituality is about accepting all that is, in all of it’s glory and in all of it’s pain.

What is one thing that you have a hard time accepting about the world? I would love to know. If you are willing, comment below.

A total loss for words

I have to say this is one of the most difficult subjects I have taken on and the best subject I have taken on because I am at a total loss for words.

I spent all of yesterday writing and writing and writing about spirituality.  And I felt like nothing made any sense.  I was all over the place.  And in some respects I think my uncomfortability, my loss for words, my confusion comes from the fact that we literally know nothing about what happens to us when we die.  And we have no idea why we are here.

There is belief and faith and wonder and metaphysical explanation but ultimately I think we understand a small part of the entire universal purpose of life and death.

And so here I am at a total loss for words, wondering what I will say, what I will write, what I will offer to you next week and the week after.  I cannot promise anything but I promise I will keep writing even if it makes no sense.

For today, I bring you a journal entry from 2013 about my learning of spirituality:
We are our body and our spirit, our mind connects the two. It allows them to speak to each other. We allow the ego, the insanity to get in the way of the natural communication between body and spirit. The body is the vehicle for the spirit to experience what we call life.

Each person is unique and so each spiritual experience is unique. We are all a part of one vast energy, God, universe, atma, whatever you call it. In this way, God, can experience everything all at once. That’s why we are all interconnected. Part of the one whole.

When we die we dissolve back into the whole. The whole breathes in and out in the same motion we do and the body is like one breathe, it dissolves in and out of the whole.

So why does the universe, God need the experience of form? So it can know itself. Without the form experience, namely the dichotomy of form experience; good and evil,  it would not know itself. You have to know sadness to experience happiness.

Why more people? Because we are creating more experiences by our actions and our creativity and imagination. So God needs more forms to experience it all, more pieces of itself.

When we realize our true nature, we will live in harmony with all that is and we will create and experience the beauty of ourself, the one, God. Then it will fully know itself.

Animals and nature are present in the form life because they teach us, remind us who we really are. They are pure spirit. But they too are being pulled into the insanity of our mind.

Relationships are necessary to know ourself, to become more conscious. God knows itself through form and we know our self through relating to others.

If we do not become conscious of this, we will destroy the entire form life.

We become conscious by being present. We are present when we allow the spirit to experience each moment via the body, without the interference of ego, of judgement. Just experience what we, as a whole, have created. It doesn’t care about the labels of the moment, it cares about the experience. The experience of a donut is important, not the facts about it. It only knows it by the experience of it, otherwise it’s just a thought.

I have no idea if any of this is really true. I do know that it came from deep inside me, a voice that I hear every so often, one that speaks to me from what seems like another dimension.  Maybe I am crazy and maybe I am not.  Maybe I know everything and maybe I know nothing.  Maybe life talks to us all the time and maybe it says nothing.  

I have no idea but I do know that I am a writer and I am here to share my writings and I will continue to do so. I can promise you that.

The Goddess Voice

This month I am writing about Spirituality. This is a topic that I truly love to think about, speak about, write about, be IN.
I am a seeker and when I discovered the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, my spiritual journey awakened within me. It lead me to a deep awareness within myself to truly discover who I am and where I came from.
I believe the spiritual journey is about just that, remembering who we truly are and awakening ourselves to that realization.
For me, personally, it has opened me up to my soul voice, the one in which I call “my goddess”. And if I listen closely to “my goddess”, she guides me toward joy, happiness, love, safety and abundance, really everything I desire.
And sometimes, more often than I would like, I listen to my ego voice which sounds like, you can’t do that, you should be scared, you are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, whatever enough.
The more I sit quietly with my thoughts, the more I read spiritual text, the more I have deep conversation with my coaches and my loves ones about “my goddess” voice, the more I stay connected.
And the more it leads to an expansive, beautiful, and abundant life.
Are their struggles? All the time. Are their still challenges? Absolutely. But I am able to navigate them much easier because I trust, I trust in “my god”. I trust that all of life is my classroom and I have the choice to choose to see or not see the lesson and opportunity in all of it.  I have the choice to listen.

I have the choice to choose how I see things. And so do you. We all do. We can choose our god voice or our ego voice.
If you prefer not to use the word god or goddess that is totally fine as it’s unimportant.  It is your soul voice, your spirit, your heart, your inner wisdom, the small voice within.  It gets much louder with practice, so loud you cannot ignore it anymore.

All you have to do is listen.  Choose to listen.

You will listen to your ego voice at times, maybe more often than you would like, and that is okay, it is part of the process, the journey to awakening yourself to who you truly are. The process of coming home.

Yes or No, which is more important?

A few months ago, while putting my boys to sleep, my oldest son asked me a very interesting question. A question I have pondered myself.

He asked, Which is more important mom, YES or NO?

I pondered for a minute not really knowing what to say. But you know children, they want an answer and they think you know everything.

So I answered, and this is what I said…

You know babe, both are important. Sometimes the answer is YES and sometimes the answer is NO. What matters is that you answer with what is true to you and that is the difficult part. Sometimes we say yes and mean no and sometimes we say no and mean yes. You must listen closely to your heart because it knows which is more important IN EVERY SINGLE MOMENT.

Since that conversation I have thought so much about this question. I hear people in the world of business and self-development say, SAY YES TO EVERY OPPORTUNITY. And I also hear, SAY NO SO THAT THERE IS ROOM FOR THE PERFECT YES FOR YOU. I don’t think either is bad nor good. But I do know this. I say yes when I mean no. And I regret it. I hardly ever regret saying no.

Time is valuable, time here in human form, right now. It is the one thing that we have that has tremendous value.

What if you spent all of your time doing things you didn’t want to be doing? What if you spent most of your time doing things you didn’t want to be doing? What if you spent half of your time doing things you didn’t want to be doing? What if you spent a 1/4 of your time doing things you didn’t want to be doing?

Assuming you are 40 and you have 40 more years of this life.

All of your time = 14,600 days of regret
Most of your time = 12,775 days of regret
Half of your time = 7,300 days of regret
1/4 of your time = 3,650 days of regret

We think that life will change and we hope for something more, something better. But it doesn’t change unless you change.

Spend more time listening to your true YES and NO. This is true self-care.