A total loss for words

I have to say this is one of the most difficult subjects I have taken on and the best subject I have taken on because I am at a total loss for words.

I spent all of yesterday writing and writing and writing about spirituality.  And I felt like nothing made any sense.  I was all over the place.  And in some respects I think my uncomfortability, my loss for words, my confusion comes from the fact that we literally know nothing about what happens to us when we die.  And we have no idea why we are here.

There is belief and faith and wonder and metaphysical explanation but ultimately I think we understand a small part of the entire universal purpose of life and death.

And so here I am at a total loss for words, wondering what I will say, what I will write, what I will offer to you next week and the week after.  I cannot promise anything but I promise I will keep writing even if it makes no sense.

For today, I bring you a journal entry from 2013 about my learning of spirituality:
We are our body and our spirit, our mind connects the two. It allows them to speak to each other. We allow the ego, the insanity to get in the way of the natural communication between body and spirit. The body is the vehicle for the spirit to experience what we call life.

Each person is unique and so each spiritual experience is unique. We are all a part of one vast energy, God, universe, atma, whatever you call it. In this way, God, can experience everything all at once. That’s why we are all interconnected. Part of the one whole.

When we die we dissolve back into the whole. The whole breathes in and out in the same motion we do and the body is like one breathe, it dissolves in and out of the whole.

So why does the universe, God need the experience of form? So it can know itself. Without the form experience, namely the dichotomy of form experience; good and evil,  it would not know itself. You have to know sadness to experience happiness.

Why more people? Because we are creating more experiences by our actions and our creativity and imagination. So God needs more forms to experience it all, more pieces of itself.

When we realize our true nature, we will live in harmony with all that is and we will create and experience the beauty of ourself, the one, God. Then it will fully know itself.

Animals and nature are present in the form life because they teach us, remind us who we really are. They are pure spirit. But they too are being pulled into the insanity of our mind.

Relationships are necessary to know ourself, to become more conscious. God knows itself through form and we know our self through relating to others.

If we do not become conscious of this, we will destroy the entire form life.

We become conscious by being present. We are present when we allow the spirit to experience each moment via the body, without the interference of ego, of judgement. Just experience what we, as a whole, have created. It doesn’t care about the labels of the moment, it cares about the experience. The experience of a donut is important, not the facts about it. It only knows it by the experience of it, otherwise it’s just a thought.

I have no idea if any of this is really true. I do know that it came from deep inside me, a voice that I hear every so often, one that speaks to me from what seems like another dimension.  Maybe I am crazy and maybe I am not.  Maybe I know everything and maybe I know nothing.  Maybe life talks to us all the time and maybe it says nothing.  

I have no idea but I do know that I am a writer and I am here to share my writings and I will continue to do so. I can promise you that.