Yes or No, which is more important?

A few months ago, while putting my boys to sleep, my oldest son asked me a very interesting question. A question I have pondered myself.

He asked, Which is more important mom, YES or NO?

I pondered for a minute not really knowing what to say. But you know children, they want an answer and they think you know everything.

So I answered, and this is what I said…

You know babe, both are important. Sometimes the answer is YES and sometimes the answer is NO. What matters is that you answer with what is true to you and that is the difficult part. Sometimes we say yes and mean no and sometimes we say no and mean yes. You must listen closely to your heart because it knows which is more important IN EVERY SINGLE MOMENT.

Since that conversation I have thought so much about this question. I hear people in the world of business and self-development say, SAY YES TO EVERY OPPORTUNITY. And I also hear, SAY NO SO THAT THERE IS ROOM FOR THE PERFECT YES FOR YOU. I don’t think either is bad nor good. But I do know this. I say yes when I mean no. And I regret it. I hardly ever regret saying no.

Time is valuable, time here in human form, right now. It is the one thing that we have that has tremendous value.

What if you spent all of your time doing things you didn’t want to be doing? What if you spent most of your time doing things you didn’t want to be doing? What if you spent half of your time doing things you didn’t want to be doing? What if you spent a 1/4 of your time doing things you didn’t want to be doing?

Assuming you are 40 and you have 40 more years of this life.

All of your time = 14,600 days of regret
Most of your time = 12,775 days of regret
Half of your time = 7,300 days of regret
1/4 of your time = 3,650 days of regret

We think that life will change and we hope for something more, something better. But it doesn’t change unless you change.

Spend more time listening to your true YES and NO. This is true self-care.