Choose PEACE over power

I recently returned from a family vacation in Mexico.  I didn’t know how much I needed the vacation until I got there.  My oldest son was playing with pens and he dropped them on the floor of our room.  He looked at me and said, sorry mom!  I began to laugh out loud and he look at me with a very concerned look.  I was laughing because at home I probably would have told him to pick them up and to be careful not to drop them.  And I would have been slightly annoyed.  I explained to him why I was laughing and he agreed and began laughing too.   And we talked about how great vacations are because we worry less and spend time being with each other.

I was reminded that pens falling on the floor is unimportant in the totality of life and I hoped when I got home that I would carry that with me.

I have been home for a few weeks now and I find myself back in it.  I find myself getting upset over falling pens.  I breathe and I remember that moment in Mexico and I remember my current mantra, which came to me while taking Brene Brown’s Ecourse, “Choose PEACE over power”.

Thank you for reading, listening, for being YOU.

With Love and Light and Soulfulness,

Shauna

Change and growth

I recently returned from the Vision360 retreat and I am thrilled to report, it was a success!  Ali and I spent the weekend with 15 amazing women!  These women were willing to be vulnerable, get in touch with their most joyous feelings, find purpose in their lives, and create a vision.  The scenery was beautiful, the weather perfect!

Creating Vision360 with Ali was a risk, it was uncomfortable and scary at times.  But all that fear was worth the feeling I have now! We did it and we did it well and I am so proud of us.  And I am so very grateful to all that attended!  Without you, the conversation that I love having so much would not have been possible.

Check out our Vision360 recap video (created by Ali Schiller).

Thank you for reading, listening, for being YOU.

With Love and Light and Soulfulness,

Shauna Lay

Acceptance

I’m reading the “Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown and “Radical Acceptance”  by Tara Mohr.  I find it interesting that these two books were recommended to me by two different people within a couple days of each other.  The goal of my contemplative Fall/Winter 2013-2014 is no self-judgement which also means no judgement of others. Which to me means acceptance of all that is, even if it seems imperfect.

Note to self and those reading…this subject is a difficult one for me because it gets me really mad.

Both books are about accepting ourselves as we are with all of our imperfections. We are so judgemental of ourselves, we think we aren’t good enough, we aren’t pretty enough, our body isn’t fit enough, we are too fat, too shy, too whatever. We judge ourselves for eating the wrong things, we feel bad bad bad about just about everything we do.  Whatever it is we say about ourself, too ourself that is in judgement is toxic to living a happy fulfilled life. It really is a sickness and its an epidemic!  Excuse my language, but what the fuck is perfect anyway!!  See I told you this subject irritates me.

Perfection is relative! It’s what we think is perfect. We must love ourselves as we are!! Why the heck not, what do we have to lose if we love ourselves fully! I’ll tell you, we have everything to gain!!  We are all imperfect and that is perfect! Come on people, where are we going in all of our busyness? Where are we headed with all of our judgement? We are headed to a place of getting old, lying in bed, wondering what the heck?!? Wondering why we didn’t go for it! Why we didn’t believe in ourselves? Why we thought we were unloveable and worthless. Because it’s then we will realize that were worthy.

Let’s not wait for that moment when this earthly life is over for us. We were given this body for a purpose and that sole purpose is to love and accept ourselves fully, deeply as we are with all of our imperfections. And that also means loving everyone and everything else just as it is. I’m on a journey to do just that! Anyone want to join me?!?

Thank you for reading, listening, for being YOU.

With Love and Light and Soulfulness,

Shauna Lay

Love and value yourself

I was volunteering in my younger son’s classroom this morning and I looked around at all the 3 and 4 year olds and I thought to myself, right now all of these beautiful children love and value themselves. They know no different.  My next thought was that there may be a time when they do not love and value themselves. In that moment I silently made a wish for all the children.  I wished that they would never lose sight of their significance and that they would always love themselves. It brought tears to my eyes knowing that every one of those children have the opportunity to share there own unique gifts with the world so long as they continue to love themselves.

I was emotional because I could see myself in those children.  I realized at some point I lost sight of my love for myself.  And I lost sight of my own value and my own uniqueness.

I have been a yoga teacher for many years, but I have been afraid to really share my love for yoga with the world in fear of being criticized. In my 20’s, when yoga wasn’t very popular, I used to hide in my room and do my practice in fear that someone would see me and think I was weird.

Fast forward to my 30’s, now yoga is very popular and it is actually cool to practice yoga.  But I still lived in fear of sharing my love for yoga.  I didn’t think I was good enough, I didn’t see the value in myself.  I didn’t see that I could share my own unique experience of the practice of yoga and spirituality.

And so I made a promise to myself that I would put myself out there for the world to see.  I would make myself vulnerable to criticism because I wanted to share myself, I wanted to share my love for all things spiritual. In putting myself out there, I began to see the value I could add to the world.  I began to worry less about the criticism and began to find love in my ability to share myself.

What I realized is that I had been looking to others for recognition and so I was afraid of criticism. When in reality, I was needing to love and value myself.  And when I could truly see my own value, then others could see the value in me.

And so here I am putting my thoughts into words, putting my experiences in writing knowing that maybe someone out there may be feeling this same way.  And I am here to encourage you to get out there and live your truth. Love yourself for who you are and find value in your uniqueness.  There is only one you, so shine your light bright for all to see! You are beautiful!

Thank you for reading, listening, for being YOU.

With Love and Light and Soulfulness, 

Shauna Lay

Do what makes you feel good

Last April my Grandma, whom I called my Abuela, passed away.

I wrote this about her right before she died.

I recently sat with my Abuela, while she lay in bed expressing her willingness to let go and die.

Up until about 4 years ago she was very active.  She regularly visited the senior center with her close friends, participated in line dancing classes, and took my yoga classes.  She began to experience bouts of vertigo, which started to slow her down.  In the last year, at 93 years of age, she has fallen several times, breaking her shoulder, ankle, and hip.

Now she spends time in bed and sitting in her wheelchair feeling the sadness of not being able to do what she used to.  She’s tired of trying to live and ready to surrender to death but doesn’t know how.

While sitting with her, we talked about how to let go and die, we talked about my grandpa taking his last breath, we talked about her missing herself when she dies, we spoke of God, we held hands, we kissed and hugged.

I expressed my love for her and she did the same for me and she followed by saying “doesn’t it feel so good to love”.

I told her how much fun I had with her cooking, watching tv, learning to sew, and how much I appreciated her watching my boys.  She has watched them since my oldest was born and he is almost six.  She expressed her gratitude for having so much time with them.

She wanted to cry but couldn’t, I cried for her.  We loved each other, listened to each other, we could have stayed their forever, her and I, and we both knew it. It was a beautiful moment in time.  I am grateful for those two hours that I spent with her.  They were real, they made us both feel good.

I wrote that in early March and she died early April.

The day before she died, I went to see her and I bent over to give her a hug and kiss and she said in a very weak voice, “that feels so good, I didn’t get enough of that in my life”.  And so I held her and kissed her several more times all over her face and neck.  I wanted her to feel so much love in that moment, all that I had to give.

The next day when I came to see her, her eyes were shut and she was not going to open them again.  She was breathing but I knew she had already chosen to pass.  I was so proud of her, she figured out a way to let go.  She found her way.  And I knew she was happy. She looked so beautiful lying there.  Her skin was soft and so smooth. She had a very small amount of wrinkles. She was perfect, she found love.

I was left with a heavy heart and a great sadness.  I wondered what the point of life was in that moment, I didn’t want to DO anything.  I thought it was purposeless to DO anything.  After refelecting on those feelings, I realized that the purpose of life was to enjoy every moment, to love deeply, and to nurture your relationship with yourself and those you love.  And to live doing what makes you FEEL GOOD.

I miss my Abuela greatly during this holiday season, she always got me cozy PJ’s for Christmas.  I will miss those PJ’s, but I will spend this holiday giving as much love as I have in me.  I will kiss and hug and kiss and hug some more.

Do what makes you feel good this Holiday Season!

Thank you for reading, listening, for being YOU.

With Love and Light and Soulfulness,

Shauna Lay

Passion

A great friend of mine sent me a 3-minute video filmed by Jason Silva, a filmmaker and futurist.  As I watched, I couldn’t help but be attracted to him. I was so drawn to his passion!  What he was saying was not as intriguing as his passion for what he was saying. I am confident if I asked him what his vision for the future world was, he would be able to clearly answer with so much passion I would believe it to be true. Check out his video. http://youtu.be/Yb-OYmHVchQ

That same week, that same friend of mine, invited me to an intimate show with singer songwriter, Brett Dennan.  I couldn’t take my eyes off him for the entire two hours he played. Why? Because I could feel his love for music.  If I asked him his vision for his work as a musician, I am confident he would be able to clearly answer with a huge amount of passion.  And in all his mellowness, I would believe him, I would buy into his ideas, and based on his passion, I will forever buy his music. Check him out.  http://youtu.be/-CY_tagipuQ

These two men are clearly different but they are both living their vision, it shows in their work, their ability to draw me in, their ability to attract me, even if I don’t necessarily believe in their ideas. They have manifested there vision because they know deep in their heart who they are and what they believe in.

Carl Jung said, “Your vision will become clear when you can look into your own heart”  I love this, because we often have all of these ideas of what we think we want to do, or what we think others want us to do.  But they don’t come from our heart.  If we truly looked into our heart we would find our deepest desires, our deepest ambitions, and we would find fulfillment and joy and passion.

What if we lived our greatest life, what if we had as much passion as Jason Silva or Brett Dennan, what if we were aligned with our deepest self?  Imagine the affect we would have on the world as a whole.

We can sit down and create a vision, we can write about it, we can create vision boards, affirmations, etc. But it is only true and unique to us if it comes straight from our heart and that is when we become passionate about what we do!

Thank you for reading, listening, for being YOU.

With Love and Light and Soulfulness,

Shauna Lay

Retreat and Contemplate

I recently read a book; “Your Life After Death”, by Michael G. Reccia.  Reccia says, it’s natural for humans to want to retreat during Winter. And so it got me thinking.

Last fall, right around this time, I spent a large part of my time in contemplation.  That doesn’t mean I sat in meditation for hours or even sat quietly.  It means I focused inward and on being present.  I had in depth conversations about purpose and passion. I was intently listening to people.  I was spending time with my grandma talking about life and death.  I was listening to spiritual talks and books while driving in my car.  I attended a 5 day retreat with Eckhart Tolle. I was working with Ali Schiller and Accountability Works, making commitments around dissolving fear. I was immersed.  When Spring came I began to pull out of it. And when summer hit, I was in full fun mode.  The thing is, I am always comtemplating, analyzing, and thinking about how to be happier, healthier, more grounded, and more balanced but last fall and winter I immersed myself more than usual.

I am taking these natural hints from the universe and I am retreating again this Fall and Winter.

I invite YOU to retreat with ME. Find one thing or a few things that help you delve deeper into your soul and do them, do them regularly.

Thank you for reading, for listening, for being YOU!

With Love, Light, and Soulfulness

Shauna

Vision Board

Last year I created a visual of my vision, sometimes referred to as a vision board.  I had been writing about my vision and creating my affirmations for years but I had never created a visual.  Being that I love art and creativity, I thought it would be fun.

The first step to creating my vision was to decide what I wanted my vision to be about. Sounds simple but I was unsure. I knew I wanted it to come straight from my soul so that it would be authentic. So I sat in presence with myself, that way I could go deep inside. The answer showed itself; my vision would include all the things that are most important to me! It would be a vision of myself, as a whole person!

Over the next few weeks I went through magazine after magazine and cut out pictures, words, quotes, virtually anything I was drawn to. I laid them all out and I gathered the clippings that I could not live without.  While holding my clippings, I felt both surprised and courageous. Surprised because I thought it would look different and courageous because it was my vision, not a vision I thought others would like. I was so excited when it was finished because I found it to be beautiful to look at.  It felt authentic! In that moment, I knew I was headed in the right direction; I knew I was embarking on a journey of not only imagining and seeing my vision, but making choices for creating it.

At first I hid it behind my door because I was still hiding from myself. But just as a butterfly emerges from a cocoon, I began to emerge from my cocoon.  Now my vision board is on the internet for all to see!

I firmly believe in creating a vision because it points us in the right direction.  It is easy for outside influences to influence our inner wants and desires. Our own mind even gets in the way.  We have to stop, dig deep, and listen to our innermost wants and desires.  And then once we can hear it and see it, then we can make the choices for creating our vision of our life.  We get in the way by not opening our eyes to the opportunities that lie in front of us.  By not being present in our own life.

Make a vision, engage in life, and then listen! I bet you’ll be surprised!  I’ll bet you’ll arrive at your visionary place.  And when you do, guess what, you get to create another vision!

Thank you for reading, listening, for being YOU.

With Love and Light and Soulfulness, Shauna

Positive Thoughts

I just got finished reading a great article in Surfer Magazine.  I am not a Surfer but I have huge respect for those who do.  The ocean is big and unpredictable and anyone who takes it on, must naturally, come out more peaceful.

The article was about a Surfer who is changing his thoughts.  He started the article by stating thoughts that go through his head when he is on the beach or out in the water.  Thoughts like, Why is that guy riding such an old board? That girl should not be wearing that bathing suit!  He is terrible at surfing.  What an ugly wetsuit.  She has a nice butt.  Sound familiar?  Then he went on to say that he is realizing that everyone is out in the water or on the beach for the same reason; to get away from their job, or their relationship, or their “problems”.  They are out to there to have fun and forget.  He ended the article stating that he is changing those thoughts, he is celebrating the guy who is not that good at surfing but having a hell of alot of fun.  And the girl who isn’t wearing the greatest suit but is celebrating her own body .  Sending loving thoughts instead of ugly thoughts.  He says right now he is 50/50 (50% positive, 50% negative)  His goal is to change that to 80/20.  And he says he is more joyful because of it.

I am a huge advocate for changing your thoughts to positive ones.  It is part of my Spiritual Therapy. It can be hard to change our thoughts because they are engrained in our mind.  In fact a huge percentage of our thoughts are played over and over year after year. In order to feel more joy in our lives, to be happier, it is 100% necessary to change our thoughts from negative to positive.  And just like any practice, with practice it becomes easier!

Everyone has their own ways to bring more positivity into their lives. My interviewees each had their own special ways.I am learning that each person has their very own spiritual therapy and it is a beautiful thing, we are all unique!

Thank you for reading, listening, for being YOU.

With Love and Light and Soulfulness,

Shauna

Trust the process

Back in August of 2012, I ended my newsletter with this…I am not sure where my soul will lead me but I am not concerned.  I am content.

As I began to write in the new year of 2013, that last sentence really struck me.

The reason is struck me is because I am still not concerned where my soul will lead me, in fact it has been a sort of relief.  Because no matter what happens I am sure of one thing…it will be okay.

Today as I walked out the door, both my boys were crying, one because his legos broke all over the floor, and the other because I was leaving.  I told them I would be back and then we could talk.  I got to my car, with a smoothie, a coffee, my purse, and my phone in hand thinking, “trust the process”.  This has been a favorite mantra of mine for the past few months.  When the simple pieces of life take me over, I stop myself and I say, “trust the process”.  Because I believe the process is perfect and that all is okay.

2012 was a big year of “doing nothing” for me.  A year of stopping, listening, breathing, and being.  Within that process I started creating, which drove me crazy at times because all of these thoughts were flooding into my mind and I could not seem to settle them down.  On one hand the creating was fun and exciting but on the other hand I wanted it to be one thing, one answer.  I still don’t have one answer but…

Within those creating thoughts I had an epiphany, finally an epiphany. It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I felt an enormous sense of excitement! For this was it, this was what I was supposed to do with all this creativity.  What is it you ask? Interview people.  What? Interview people! For what?  (This is the conversation I am having with you but it is also the conversation I had in my head). Interview people about their strengths, their passions, and their beliefs. Yes, I said, yes, I will interview everyone I know!!!  I couldn’t wait to get home to write down my questions.  About 10 minutes later as I calmed down from my excitement, a sort of disappointing thought entered my head, how are you going to make money interviewing people?  I mean I am not Oprah, I am Shauna Lay.  After that thought, I put the idea aside, if I wasn’t going to make any money doing it, why would I do it?  For the next month it kept on entering into my thoughts.  I kept thinking, this is a soulful thought, I must listen.  I must trust the process.

So now I am sitting here today at my desk telling all of you.  And asking all of you, if I can interview you?  My hope is that we will both get something out of the interview process. I am pretty positive we will.  I know I will.

Thank you for reading, listening, for being YOU.

 With Love and Light and Soulfulness, Shauna