Today I cried.

Today I cried.

I cried for all the women of the world who have been unsupported, betrayed, judged, shunned, outcasted, and so much more.  And not only by men, but by other women.

So…I cried for ALL of us.

It showed up as a story, many stories in my own life.

Stories of trying to be good, do the right thing, fit in, be unique, be strong, be confident, be me and all the while feeling judged, talked about, outcasted, unsupported, and/or wronged.

Stories of judging, talking about, outcasting, not supporting, and wronging other women while they were simply working on being good, doing the right thing, fitting in, being unique, being strong, being confident, being there unique selves.

Yes I have been a part of it too.

We are and have been part of a societal norm which has looked like envy, comparison, judgement, and betrayal between women.

It manifests differently in each one of us. We take on different traits and roles.

It isn’t our fault, it’s what we were taught by our mothers, who were taught by their mothers and their mothers. It is how they learned to survive.

And now we have a unique opportunity to change it. To heal.

It begins by witnessing each other. Sharing what feels true and listening without judgment, comparison, envy, or wronging.  I am deeply learning this art. It has been taught to me by my mentor Jeannine Yoder and currently by my beautiful mentor Becca Piastrelli.

Women have been coming together and healing for hundreds of years but it hasn’t been accepted. Thankfully, that is changing rapidly.

It may not be easy but it’s worth it.

Let’s Heal Together!

My favorite products 2017

It’s December and I am deeply inward. It is a beautiful time right now. I feel the power of the holidays and the entering of Wintertime. It always feels so good to me.

I have been doing so much yoga and breathing and contemplation and quiet meditation.  These practices help me develop a deeper awareness of my own being.

I have also been sitting by the fire, enjoying time with my boys (we had an impromptu date last night), looking at the tree lights, and saying hello to the sun as it enters the kitchen every morning. The simplest of things bring me so much joy.

Products also make me happy. I simply LOVE feel good, self-care products.

This morning while taking a shower it occurred to me that it would be fun to record a video of my 8 favorite products. I did this a few years back and it was so much fun that I decided to do it again. This time with all new products except for one because I love it so much.

Most of the products I use are all-natural and all of them support my well-being and I hope they will support yours too!

Watch the video now.

#1 Olive Oil – This can be purchased anywhere.  It is best to get a good grade of oil. If you live in California it is easy to get it locally which makes it more rich and powerful.  You can also infuse it with herbs.  Cut a bunch of herb and peel the leaves from the stems using your fingers. Drop it in a cup of olive oil and place it in your window for 2 weeks. Strain the oil from the herbs and place it into a clean jar. Enjoy!

#2 Pacifica Nail Polish – https://www.pacificabeauty.com/collections/nail-polish/

#3 Rosewater – Get it here at thrive market.

#4 Soul Power Nutrient Boost – https://www.enlighteningsouls.com/buy/

#5 Davines Oi Oil – I wasn’t sure how natural this brand is and I checked it out and it is way more natural than I thought, hooray. And it is an eco-driven company. http://us.davines.com/oi-absolute-beautifying-potion/d/1196

#6 Frankincense Oil – Buy this oil from any DoTERRA consultant or any other oil company you love. Here is an article I found that states many of the benefits of using this oil. WOW. I am excited to learn more about plant medicines in the near future.  I have been dabbling in plant medicines for the last decade and I can’t wait to expand my knowledge even more.

#7 My very own Chapstick – you have to make this one. This recipe was originally derived from my friend Becca Piastrelli.  I adjusted her recipe a bit to make the consistency I desire.

Recipe:

2 tbsp coconut oil (plus a little more), 2 tbsp shea butter (plus a little more), 4 tsp beeswax pellets, 40 drops of essential oil of your choice. Make sure the oil is safe to put on your skin. I use lavender. You will need about 10 lip balm tubes.

Combine coconut oil, shea butter and beeswax pellets in a double boiler and heat until fully melted. Remove from heat and add essential oil. Swirl around to combine and pour into lip balm containers. Let sit to cool and harden for about 1 hour.  Enjoy!

#8 (DUPLICATE alert) Bare Minerals Warmth – I love this stuff so much that I had to include it again.  It is that good. Get it here.

#9 (Because #8 is a duplicate) Therapy Balls – Get these on Amazon.

Bonus:

#1 Yoga Pretzels –  Get these on Amazon.

#2 Feather Earrings  from Dragonfly Diva Jewelry – Check out her Facebook Page to learn more.

With Love + SO much Appreciation,

Shauna

How to reduce overwhelm

Do you often get overwhelmed with all the to-do’s? Especially after you return home from vacation or a yoga retreat 

One of the questions I receive from women who have just been on retreat is…

“I miss being at the retreat center.  I feel like my life is so hectic and busy and I wanted to bring more peace and calm into my life when I returned and I just don’t know how. How do I integrate what I have learned into my life?”

I am coming in to your inbox today to share with you my response.

My immediate answer is that it won’t be peaceful and calm and spacious when you return home because your email is calling your attention and your boss needs something.  Your kids want dinner and your husband needs his dry cleaning picked up.

You have created some change while on retreat. You slowed down, you went inward.  You took breaths. You were able to relax because nothing was calling your attention.

Retreats make it easy for us to slow down, just like watching the sunset with a loved one or visiting a well manicured garden.

These places and events are created to help us remember what it means to slow down and take in the moments of our lives. They remind us to be more present. They force us to create space in our bodies and in our minds so that we can connect to what is truly important. They help us remember.

Eckhart Tolle, who is one of my favorite spiritual teachers once said, “Imagine a tree growing in a greenhouse.  It is fed the perfect amount of food, given the perfect amount of water and light. It grows so beautifully. It is perfect and happy.”

It is a metaphor for the person who lives in an ashram or goes to the mountaintop by herself to meditate.  She is calm and peaceful, perfect and beautiful.  She has created the surroundings to support her.

Then he says, “There is the tree that lives in nature. It endures wind and rain and droughts and heat.  It’s surroundings are not perfect and yet, it is beautiful and it is a stronger tree than the tree that lives in the greenhouse.”

This is a metaphor for the life we have chosen. One that is involved in relationships and work and all the things that come with being an active participant in the world.

There is nothing wrong with the woman who decides to meditate at the ashram, that is what she decides and it serves a great purpose that holds the energetic field of presence and peace.  I want to be that woman often. I want to take myself to a cabin in the woods away from it all.

And yet, I also love my life. I live a good life with good relationships.  I love my family and my home.  It give me challenges, yes, but that is what builds my strength and I know that I have chosen this way of living for a reason.

I give myself time to get away and then I come back into my life without expectation that it will change instantly, I know that building a peaceful, calm and easy life is a journey.  It’s not instant.

Your life will not change instantly. It will gradually change.  I invite you to give yourself space.

The best way to bring home retreat is to create space in your life for the things that exist on retreat.

Things like:
Sitting down for a home cooked meal.
Exercising in nature.
Tending to the garden.
Practicing yoga.
Breathing. Meditating.
Enjoying your family and friends.
Having deep conversations.
Dancing (because we always dance on retreat!)
Drawing.
Journaling.
Insert your own here.

These things bring us joy. They makes us happy because they connect us to what is truly important. They help us remember.

And when you have to respond to your emails, tend to your boss, make dinner for your kiddos, and pick up your husbands dry cleaning remember those things are important but they are less important than creating space for joy. I can promise you that!

With Love + SO much Appreciation,

Shauna

Spreading the message of love, connection, healing, and support

This past weekend I had the honor of teaching a group of amazing, compassionate, inspirational, vulnerable women.

Each one so unique, so essential to the growth of humanity as a whole. Yet each one questioning their own uniqueness and joy and worth.

I am tired of the…I am not enough, I don’t believe, I am not deserving, I cannot do it, it’s my fault.

I am on a mission to dissolve these fears so that we can all come together and heal together and heal the world.

On Sunday we lay down in Savasana holding hands listening to a beautiful song whose words touched my heart…“Peace to all, Life to all, Love to all.” These words were repeated over and over and I could feel how much I wanted this for all humanity.

And then Monday morning I woke up to yet another devastating attack in Las Vegas and many thoughts ran through my head but one thing came forward that felt strong.
“Keep doing the work”
“Keep doing your work”
“Keep spreading the message of love, connection, healing, and support”
“Keep your head up sister”

I took a shower, put on my clothes, and showed up for my husband, my children, the men and women I came across, for the women I was serving that day.

In every moment I was honest with my truth and my knowing and who I am. I am willing to do the work and I hope we all are.  It is important now more then ever.

Let’s stop blaming, hating, disconnecting, separating, shaming…all the things.  Heal these pieces of yourself and heal them fast.  WE have work to do and WE need you. WE need your essence, your uniqueness, your joy, your voice, your brilliance, your support, and your connection. WE need you! NOW! Share YOUR thoughts with me in the comments below..WE can do this.

With Love + SO much Appreciation,

Shauna

stepping into the unknown

I took a month off work.

In that month my husband and I traveled to France and Greece.

It was rocky at first. We don’t speak French, we have never been to France. It was me and him on our own navigating a new place far away from home. Would we find our hotels, would we be able to sleep with the time change, would we find good food, would we….

It reminded me of a time in New York City when we took the subway and went the wrong direction before we found the right one.

Or the time we found ourselves in Mexico renting a car in the middle of nowhere with our two young children.

It brings up an uneasy feeling.  I feeling of where am I, what am I doing, I think this was a bad idea, I think I should just turn around and go home. 

Do you know that feeling? That feeling of…I made a mistake. I take it back.

This isn’t just about traveling, it happens anytime we make a change or do something that is uncomfortable, even if we really want it.

I see this in my clients all of the time. They get inspired, they make a change, they get excited, and then boom!  All the uncomfortable emotions arise.

But then something remarkable happens.  They come out of it happier, more satisfied, more trusting of themselves.  They find peace and joy in their own courage. They see that they are making decisions that increase their happiness because they are in line with their truth. 

There is nothing better than that.  When I got on the plane to come home from my travels, I was different, I was changed and I was so happy! I remembered the courage it took to go there and be there.  I was reminded of the uncomfortable moments and they became fun.  I sat in the memory of all the beautiful sunsets I watched every day while in Greece.

Comfort keeps you stuck. 

Discomfort helps you grow.

Whether it is going to a new place, ending a job and beginning another, moving to a new home, a new city, it is all taking a leap of faith, trusting that you will be okay and in fact you will be better because you stepped into the unknown and that creates growth and more happiness.

So what is it that you want to do? What is your soul asking of you? Where are you being asked to step into the unknown?  Are you willing to take the risk? Are you willing to accept discomfort? 

If so, you will find happiness there, I promise.

It would be great to share some thoughts below.

PS: Here are some of my favorite pics from our vacation!

Be the change you wish to see

The only way we will change the world is if we change ourselves. You know the saying, “be the change you wish to see“, well it became famous for a reason, because it’s true.

I wish to see total acceptance of all people, regardless of race, age, ethnicity, sex, sexual orientation, religion, beliefs, or way of living. We are all human beings striving for acceptance and love, to be seen and heard. To be witnessed as we are. To be accepted. To be happy. To experience divine love. Acceptance of self and of others develops deep connection. We need more connection.

And when I hear “we must begin with ourselves” they are right again.

We cannot look to others or wait for others to save us or create our experience or make us happy or be the change we wish to see. Because we will blame them when they don’t meet our expectations. That does nothing for us. Nothing at all.

We have to act upon our dream and our desires. That is what we wish to change. Become the example of what you wish to change. If you strive for peace in the world, become peace. If you strive for happiness, become it. If you strive for freedom, become it. If you strive for all of it, become the master of all of it.

So, what do you want? What’s your dream for the world? I’m giving you permission to share your dream. Don’t keep it inside that does nothing for you or for me or for anyone else. You have been given privilege and opportunity. Do not waste it by dreaming quietly. Do not waste it by looking to others to dream it for you. You have a unique dream, there is only one you. Tell me what it is!

Okay now tell me, what are your patterns, the ones that are stopping you from making the change you wish to see? Do you know? We all have inherent patterns that are sometimes unknown to us. They were developed at some point in time, a belief, a personality trait, or a behavior. Usually there is one that is really strong and present and it is the one that is keeping us stuck and waiting right now. Maybe you feel you are not good enough or smart enough. Or maybe you want control or maybe you don’t take care of yourself or maybe you are scared that you won’t be needed. Or maybe you are a people pleaser. Whatever your pattern is, you have to find it and look at it. And then you have to stop it or it will stop you.

Can you feel the pain in the pattern? Can you feel how it feels to do the opposite of what your pattern is? Can you feel how painful it is to stop it? We can only disrupt it if we are willing to look at it and feel it’s pain. If it stops us from change, it is a painful pattern. It has anxiety, sadness, fear, depression, or some other painful emotion in it. Usually it has more than one. The only way to disrupt is to do the opposite, to fully feel it and act anyway. So if you are a people pleaser you have to stop people pleasing. It won’t be easy but it is necessary. The only way to change is to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. I promise you that!

No person that became the change they wished to see said it was easy. But they did it anyway.

Martin Luther King made a significant impact in the world of racism. Imagine the adversity he underwent in order to create that change, in order to become the change he wished to see.

Are you ready to get comfortable with being uncomfortable so that you can be the change you wish to see in the world? So that YOU can become your dream, your desire? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!

We need you!

My thoughts on turning 40

As I approach my 40th birthday I am faced with an interesting exploration. One which sounds like…

FINALLY I made it…

AND…what if…this is it?

As many say, after 40 it all goes down hill.  My belief has always been after 40 it all goes uphill.

I got this belief from my mom, who has always said the best years of her life were in her 40’s.

I clearly remember when my mom turned 40.

We were in our backyard having a gathering for her. I was 9 years old and I remember looking up at the sky and seeing an airplane moving across the sky with a banner on the back that read…”Lordy Lordy Inez Is Forty”.  I will never forget that banner but even more so I will never forget the smile on my mom’s face.

She looked so happy and that has always secured my belief that “The best years of my life will be my 40’s”

And so I have I looked forward to the day I would turn 40 and quite possibly an airplane would fly over my house with a banner that said, “Lordy Lordy Shauna’s Forty” and I would smile liked my mom smiled.

(That’s my mom! Doesn’t she have a great smile!!!)

But something different came up.  I kept thinking, what if she was wrong all along and that dreadful saying is right, “What if it all goes downhill after 40”?  What if it isn’t the best years of my life?

So I inquired about this and realized that there has been a struggle that I have been playing with since that day.  I have been patiently awaiting 40 so that I could have the best years of my life. And I was hurrying to get here so that I could have the best years of my life.  And I was missing the best moments of my life that were happening all the years before now.

And now I am here.

There is a sadness when I look at this.  The sadness comes from a story I have been telling myself that is not really true. It is a small picture of the bigger picture.  A small part of a bigger story.

My life has not been a set of only mediocre or ordinary experiences.  My life has not been all about waiting for the best years of my life.

My life has been filled with fun and heart warming experiences.

Wild and crazy nights.

Choices that were not only hard but brave.

Embracing love head on.

Entering motherhood, arms wide open.

Deep dives into my heart to find what I deeply believe in.

Courage to stand up for myself and be me fully and completely.

A message of acceptance and divine love that could not have surfaced if I had not embraced every single moment of my life.

And now I am here.  An authentic beautiful women has arrived and she is turning 40!

Today I surrender to a new story which sees extraordinary moments and ordinary moments and embraces all of them.  One that does not put any pressure on the future to be better than my past but encompasses all that I am and all that I will be in this moment.  Because THIS is the only moment that I have.

So now I say CHEERS TO 40!!!

With Love + SO much Appreciation,

Shauna

PS: Are you approaching a milestone?  Do you have strong feelings around it?  If so I would love to hear in the comments below.

How can we possibly accept injustice

The other day I was asked by a dear friend and client….How do you accept injustice?

We were sitting in Circle talking about acceptance. I asked her and the other woman in the group to take this month and embody acceptance.  I asked them to fully accept themselves, others, and their experiences.

It was a great question because injustice is really difficult to accept! We tend to blame others for something we feel they are doing wrong. But injustice is societal. Meaning it comes from a deeper place than what we might see or experience.

The person(s) or system we feel is unjust goes back to the person(s) who created that and the ancestors who created that and so on… so we can say that our entire world is unjust.

And then the question was asked, “If we accept, do we then do nothing?”

This was a great follow up question. We are only accepting what is and that doesn’t mean we do nothing. We create big change from experiencing injustice; however, it must come from a place of accepting what is true. There is so much power there.

The truth is not in the story that we are telling ourselves.  The truth comes from grounding and really feeling the experience as a whole.  You first have to feel the emotions and accept the feelings you have. Grounding occurs from acceptance.  Then you separate yourself from the emotions that you feel and look at the injustice from a broader view.

For example, when I heard of the terrorist attack that happened in London in June it brought me to my knees asking, WHY? My usual response to this kind of injustice is to look away and pretend I didn’t hear about it.  This is my go-to response because it is difficult to feel and accept tragedies like this.  This time I decided to really feel the injustice that was taking place.  I expanded my being and was able to really feel the pain and suffering that was happening during that time.  It brought me to tears and I really felt the emotion.

There was so much information in that emotion because I could feel the truth of hate. The only way I could really feel the hate was to experience the injustice.  After the experience I could see the bigger picture of injustice that has plagued our society and world for a very long time.  There was nothing I could do in that moment except pray. I sent a prayer of peace into the world.  I sent a prayer of healing into the world.

Sometimes we are able to speak to the injustice.  We are able to make real change by standing up and speaking against it.  But it must comes from a peaceful place.

When we speak to the injustice from a place of true acceptance others will listen and then real change can happen.

Have you encountered such injustices and how did you approach it? My hope is that your experiences can help others grapple with their own efforts. Leave a comment below!

How to live a more pleasure filled life

After writing last week about guilt and shame, I realized that each emotion has a deeper emotion that it can turn into.  Guilt turns to shame.  Anger turn to hate. Sadness turns to depression.

This was an exciting revelation because it means the pleasurable emotions do the same. The more we feel our pleasure the deeper it gets.

So how exactly do we cultivate more pleasurable emotions in our life experiences?

I will let you in on a little secret.  You have to choose them.  You either have to choose the experience that you know will produce a pleasurable feeling or you have to choose to find pleasure in the midst of pain or a challenge.

We are always looking for the experience to create our happiness.  But we choose happiness.

For example, imagine you are headed on vacation. You think… I am so excited to get away.  It’s going to be fantastic. And then you get there and you feel disappointed because it is not what you expected. There are crowds of people, it’s too hot, and the hotel you chose is dirty.  You have a choice, you can dwell in the disappointment  or you can choose to see the good in the experience, the beautiful beach that is a few steps away and the nice man opening the door for you.  You get to CHOOSE. You also get to choose whether you will stay or go home, whether you will stay in the dirty hotel or get another hotel.

LIFE IS CHOICE. IT IS OUR HUMAN EXPERIENCE. IT IS WHY WE ARE HERE.

Now, some of you are probably saying but what about painful challenges or life situations that choose you. Like the development of an illness.  And to that I say, I believe we choose these life experiences as well and whether you believe that or not, you still get to choose how you respond to your experience. 

Feel the pain, always feel the pain, take the information and then choose to feel the pleasure in every single life experience you have.

This will absolutely change your life. I’d love to know if you’ve had situations in which you were able to see the good in the bad..drop a comment below!

I was not looking forward to these two emotions

So I have not been one bit excited to write about guilt and shame. I thought about avoiding it all together and moving on to the good emotions but I know that doesn’t serve anyone.

I am having a hard time with these because when I write about emotions I take time to really feel them. And these seem really hard to feel because they don’t feel good at all.

I actually want to avoid them all together. I think that is telling me something (haha).

Guilt arises when we feel like we have done something wrong. It is usually attached to a behavior. The great thing about guilt is that if we feel it and listen to it we can learn from it by not doing that behavior again. Easier said than done of course however if we REALLY felt it and listened to that feeling, we would probably want to avoid it because it doesn’t feel good.

And if we continue the behavior it turns into shame. And shame can be detrimental to our life. As soon as you feel shame, which feels deeper than guilt it is definitely information to stop doing the behavior that is causing you to feel that way. 

Just as deep anger turns to hate, guilt turns to shame and can cause us to go into a downward spiral.

You can stop guilt from turning into shame by stopping the behavior that is causing you guilt. If you feel guilty about a one time experience, let it go.  There is no need to hold onto guilt.  It turns to shame when it is a repeated behavior. For example you may feel guilty when you eat a certain food or you eat too much food. This is one that can easily turn to shame because it is a repeated behavior.

Sometimes we can feel guilty for creating boundaries. We say we feel guilty for saying no to a friend or family member. This is not guilt.

This is only a projection of how we think another might be feeling based on our own decisions. Our friend or family member may feel sad or angry or frustrated if we say no however that is not our emotion. In actuality when we say no, the feeling is relief.

And feeling our own happiness can feel like guilt when we perceive others having a negative emotional response to our behavior.

This is only confusion. It is not ours to take on. It is important not to take on another’s emotion. It’s okay to notice it and take it as information but so-called guilt about how another is feeling is not guilt, it’s confusion.

Everyone has had experiences with guilt and shame. Have you been able to learn from those experiences? Can you share them in the comments below?…it might lessen that not-good-feeling.