NEWS
Announcing...
Happy Wednesday! Happy Spring!
Spring is a time for clearing out the old stuff (decluttering) and starting new projects. The energy of spring is fresh and new. As I walk around and notice all the new growth, I really feel the energy of spring.
Summer is a time for working hard and celebrating. It is a time for playing. The energy of summer is work hard, play hard. I love summer for that reason.
Autumn is a time when completion of the harvest happens. It is a great time for finishing projects. The energy of Autumn is soft and nurturing. It is a time for wrapping things up, going inward and letting go.
Winter is a time for resting, renewing, and making plans for the future. The energy of winter is restful and new.
As we enter Spring I thought it would be a good time to announce a new project I am excited about!
I am hosting a retreat in the beautiful, most amazing little town of Occidental, CA (near Santa Rosa, CA) ….and I could not be more thrilled!! I have been wanting to teach at The Lotus Feed for over two years and I finally secured a spot.
It is happening at the onset of Autumn, specifically Thursday Sept 28th – Sunday Oct 1st. I chose this time specifically because it is Autumn and for me, this season is always a time where I need lots of opportunity for healing, nourishment, quiet space, and reflection.
“Autumn is the time when the cycle that began in the spring, reaches completion. The fruit is harvested, things are cleared away, so that space can be made for a new beginning. It is important in this season to watch your balances and to give yourself time for settlement and reflection. You naturally go through a process of clearing out and it is wise not to make any important decisions.”
-Petra Ummenthun
The only decisions you will have to make during your time at The Lotus Feed is where you will spend your time.
Meaning you will get to do as you please, yep I said it, you get to choose how you want to spend every moment of your time.
You will be given an array of opportunities for healing, nourishment, quiet space, and reflection including yoga classes, meditation classes, medicine making class, and massages.
Are you taking care of yourself?
It is important to take good care of our body, mind, and spirit because they all assist us in aligning with our essence.
BKS Iyengar said, “Alignment leads to enlightenment”. When I first heard this all I could think of was body alignment. I have scoliosis so true alignment was out of the question and so to me enlightenment was out of the question.
When I began to explore “alignment” as aligning to my natural state of being, I began to truly understand Iyengar’s message.
My approach is to align my body, mind, and spirit with my natural state of being. I do that in three distinct ways and I nurture all of these ways regularly. One does not feel more important than the other. They all feel important because they make up our entire being.
1. Take care of your body by aligning your body with its natural structure.
Do some form of exercise that opens you up and eat foods that are alive.
Whatever exercise you decide to do, it is most important to pay attention to your alignment. The more aligned you are with gravity, the more clarity arises inside of you because your feet are grounded on earth and the crown of your head is open to the light.
Notice the way you sit, stand and walk. Are you slouching? Is your chin lifting or dropping? What about your feet, which way are they pointing?
Find ways to bring the body into its natural alignment. Strengthen the muscles that need strengthening, stretch the muscles that need stretching so that your bone structure is supported by your muscles.
Everyone is different, every body is different, every approach is different. What one person needs, another does not and vice versa. Take the time to figure out what kind of alignment your body needs.
2. Take care of your mind by talking with someone who can reflect back to you what they hear in you.
Aligning our thoughts with our truest state of being is difficult. Our thoughts are powerful and have energy. What we think forms how we live.
Living in alignment with your true state of being requires you to clarify your thoughts.
Find someone who can ask the right questions to help you see clearly the thoughts that are present in your mind. They will help you understand who you are by the way you think. When you understand the way you think, you can begin to clarify your thoughts.
The work is to keep the thoughts that are in alignment (the ones that serve you) and let go of the ones that are not (the ones not serving you).
It is important to find someone who is sharing with you what they see and feel from an extremely neutral and accepting place.
This usually comes in the form of a therapist or coach. It could come in the form of a friend as long as they are in service of your highest good.
3. Take care of your spirit by finding quiet.
The spirit yearns for quiet so that you can connect to it and feel it and experience it. It is your essence, your knowing, your intuition and it is louder in silence.
It needs to be quiet to be heard, to be felt, to be connected to. This is where your knowing lives. And your knowing knows what is truly best for you. It tells you what is best for you, if you are quiet enough to listen.
This practice is cultivated through being quiet in a quiet space, it can done anywhere, at anytime.
My preferred form is sitting or laying down in the early hours of the morning when it’s dark. My husbands preferred form of quiet is being in the water on a kite board by himself. Both very different but serve the same purpose.
There is no hierarchy to this work. Taking care of the body, mind, and spirit are all important. Each one affects the others. Focus on all of them.
Immense appreciation for this moment
Last week I went on a short get-away with my husband for our 10 year wedding anniversary. We went to a beautiful Airbnb in the redwoods. It was so very sweet and so very silent.
I found myself in deep reflection.
Reflecting on our life together as a whole, our creation and our choices. Everything that had brought us to that moment at that exact time.
I could feel this immense appreciation for all the tough choices, for the times when I didn’t think it was going to work, for the differences, for the rough spots, for the things we didn’t have but wanted so badly.
I remember many years ago wanting to go on a retreat with Eckhart Tolle. Retreating with remarkable inspirational people is something I have wanted for as long as I can remember and Eckhart Tolle has been a great influence in my life.I asked my husband if I could go even though I knew we didn’t have the money.
He turned to me and said, we do not have the money for that but I promise…someday soon you will be able to go. I was sad but I felt supportive by him and I knew that he was speaking the truth. And he was so right! I am currently on a retreat with a group of truly inspirational people. I am embarking on a Mastermind Journey with 9 powerful wonderful women, something I have wanted for a very long time. We are on retreat in San Francisco at Cavallo Point. The experience has been amazing. I have even realized my old wish and have been on retreat with Eckhart Tolle!
I have a deep appreciation for this moment.
I am realizing more and more that the tough times allow me to appreciate the good times that much more. These tough times honor where you have been and where you are headed.
Take a few minutes and identify what you appreciate in your life and celebrate “right now in this moment” with us by leaving a comment below!
How to communicate effectively
Have you ever said something to your loved one that made you turn around and kick yourself? Or maybe it was a boss or someone you work with. You knew it was off because after you didn’t feel so good.
After thinking and thinking you realize you didn’t mean what you said. What really happened is you didn’t communicate effectively.
This almost always happens when we blame another for how we are feeling.
Like when I find myself stomping around the house because I feel overwhelmed with all I have to do and my husband comes home and sits down to relax and I think, why isn’t he helping me do the things I need to do. And then I say “WHY AREN’T YOU HELPING ME!”
It isn’t his fault that I feel overwhelmed. It isn’t his fault that I am frustrated. But I blame him as if it is.
We do this all of the time. We do it to the poor person behind the counter at Target when they are moving slowly and we are in a hurry. We blame them for making us late.
Stop blaming while communicating. It doesn’t soften situations, it exacerbates them.
Effective communication sounds way different. If I am effectively communicating I would say, I know you have worked really hard today, thank you for that….and I am in need of some help. I am feeling super overwhelmed right now and I could use some help picking up the kids today.
Effective communication is one of the most important things we can do to live a successful happy life. How we communicate with others is everything because it sets the stage for good relationships. As you probably know, having good relationships makes life so much easier and enjoyable.
Words are not just words, they have energy behind them. They have feeling and emotion. Words can softens situations or they can exacerbate situations.
One of the best ways to soften a situation is to always, always communicate with clear intentions and never blame another for how YOU are feeling.
I have outlined several steps to effective communication to help you. This step by step process works for any form of communication with partners, children, your team, your boss, anyone.
Step 1: Set a clear intention. First things first, before entering a conversation, decide what you want to get out of the conversation?
In my story, my intention is to receive help.
Step 2: Take time to understand the other’s intention. Slip into their shoes and look at their life with total LOVE.
My husband worked all day and he is ready to come home and relax. He loves me and he wants to help me.
Step 3: Approach the conversation with how you view their intention. This is really important because everyone needs to be seen and in this way you let them know that you see them.
I know you have worked really hard today and that you want to rest and relax.
Step 4: Show appreciation for him/her. Again you are showing him/her that you see them. You have taken the time to slip yourself into their shoes.
Thank you for working so hard for our family.
Step 5: State your feelings. Stating how you feel allows others to enter into your state of being. It gives them permission to see you.
I am feeling super overwhelmed right now.
Step 6: State your intention. This is usually how we start a conversation but it needs to be how we end it.
I could use some help picking up the kids today.
Is there someone in your life that you have difficulty communicating with? Does this strategy help you understand why that may be happening? Let me know in the comments below.
How to Become Deeply Aware of Your Feelings and Emotions
(Photo Credit: Evan Kirby)
Tell me…
What if I asked you, how are you feeling today? How would you answer?
Would you say good?
Most of us would say fine or good, mostly to avoid answering the question fully and openly but also because the person asking may not really be interested in the answer.
The real question is: Do you KNOW how you feel in any given moment?
When I was in my teens and twenties, I had no idea how I felt. If someone asked me I couldn’t tell you the difference between anxious, excited, happy, or sad. I simply said fine.
In my late twenties I hired a therapist and the biggest thing she taught me was how to identifying my feelings.
When I told a story, any story, she would stop me and say, how are you feeling right now? I would get curious but I really didn’t know the answer. She would then ask, do you feel sad? What about anxious? Nervous? She would continue and I would answer yes or no to each feeling.
After a couple of years, I got very good at identifying my feelings. I could feel the sensations in my body and name the emotions that went along with them. It was transformative for me because it made me much more present to my life and it allowed me to make the changes that I needed to become happier and healthier.
Without knowing it I was becoming aware of my state of being, which means I was becoming aware of how I think and how I feel at any given moment. This also taught me what my patterns are which allowed me to begin to change them.
“How you think and how you feel is a state of being. In order to change your state of being, you must change how you think and how you feel.” Dr. Joe Dispenza
I love this quote by Dr Joe Dispenza; however, you cannot change your state of being if you don’t know how you think and how you feel to begin with.
You have to become aware. Becoming aware of your feelings and thoughts is difficult, it takes time, patience and practice.
I have been practicing this for many years using deep awareness tools such as meditation and yoga. Today, I am sharing with you the 3 step process I use during meditation and yoga or in any given moment to gain awareness.
Before we get to the process, let’s first talk about the difference between a feeling and an emotion.
A feeling is the body’s way of showing an emotion. For example when I get excited, I feel a surge of flutters in my body, commonly called butterflies. When I get nervous I sweat and feel cold at the same time. These are our bodily reactions to an emotion.
An emotion is simply the label of that feeling. So in these cases, excited and nervous.
3 Steps to becoming aware of your feelings and emotions:
Step 1: Feel Your Body. At any moment stop close your eyes and ask yourself, how does my body feel? Maybe it’s buzzing. Maybe you have butterflies. Maybe your tense. This is easier to do when you choose an experience that you know is going to activate some feeling in your body; however, you can practice this at any moment.
Step 2: Name the emotion. Maybe it’s anxious, excited, or angry. We don’t always feel one way. There are often many emotions happening at the same time.
Step 3: Keep asking. Continue to feel the body and name the emotion until you are complete. Until you have named all the emotions and you have felt all the feelings that are going on.
Step 4: Bonus. Ask yourself, Where are these feelings and emotions coming from? Why am I feeling this way?
Were you able to identify your feelings and emotions in this moment? If so, tell me, what are you feeling? If not, what blocks are you noticing?
6 things you must celebrate
Why celebration?
The definition of celebration is to acknowledge (a significant or happy day or event) with a social gathering or enjoyable activity. I love this definition because it shows that celebrating can mean a social gathering (which is what we are used to) or it can mean an enjoyable activity (which is how I love to celebrate).
It is so important to celebrate yourself, even the smallest things because it forces you to sit in the presence of what you have/are creating in your life. Each little step is importance in the big picture. It is about the journey and you will miss it if you don’t STOP. Celebrating forces you to STOP and enjoy the moment.
Celebrating also pushes you forward, it gives you forward momentum to live in the present/future rather than in the past.
The importance of celebrating is something I have totally disregarded in the past. I hardly ever celebrate myself and if I do, it’s usually last minute because someone else wanted me to do it. Ultimately it is really uncomfortable for me.
I resisted celebrating myself because I have always believed that it would make others feel bad. So I simply stopped celebrating in hopes I could help others feel better about themselves. I am a typical people pleaser so making others feel good is much easier for me.
As I have gotten older and witnessed myself in this habit, I have actually realized that I have kept myself hidden, especially when it comes to going after what I desire in my life. I was afraid to share my desires with others because if I got them then it might make others feel bad.
So I didn’t share them, go for them, or celebrate them.
Lately I have been celebrating small things about myself and it has really changed the way I look at what I am doing as well as what others are doing.
I am enjoying the small moments, I am stopping to celebrate my life and my creations!
Here are 6 ways things that you should absolutely be celebrating! And ways in which you can celebrate!
1. Celebrate setting boundaries for yourself. This one comes from a dear friend who realized she wasn’t celebrating setting boundaries. This particularly rings true when saying no. We have a habit of saying yes to to many things that we don’t really want to do. Saying no to things that aren’t serving you is a huge cause for celebration. Celebrate by buying yourself something nice.
2. Celebrate when you meet a goal. Meeting goals even small ones is not always easy. I see my clients do this all of the time. They meet a goal and they disregard it like it is no big deal. Things like exercising 2 times a week or drinking 8 glasses of water a day. These small goals lead to very big goals and each step is important to celebrate. Celebrate with a hot cup of tea.
3. Celebrate when you worked hard all week and you feel exhausted. This one is huge. Often we will complain and say this week was so hard, I worked so hard and I feel depleted. If we changed our mindset and instead we celebrated it would change our whole outlook. Imagine saying I worked so hard this week I am going to take a bath or take myself out to lunch at my favorite restaurant.
4. Celebrate when you have a good parenting moment or you and your partner have a good talk. We tend to dwell on the negative. We tend to think about all the times we totally screwed up, like when we were hard on our kids or we complained to our partners a little too much. Celebrate the good moments by putting on a fabulous outfit or wearing some lipstick.
5. Celebrate someone else when they have done something amazing! The more you celebrate others, the more you will celebrate yourself. The more you celebrate yourself, the more you will celebrate others. It is infectious. Send them flowers, leave a gift on their doorstep or simply send them a card. Even a text or voice message is amazing!
6. And for god’s sake celebrate a momentous age, date, or event. Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, weddings, baby’s, etc. But be sure to celebrate in the way that you want, in a way that feels really good to you not the way others want you to celebrate.
All of these can be celebrated by simply using the “The Celebration Technique”. I use this all the time in my coaching sessions. It is 5 questions (answer them when you feel like you need a celebration).
-What am I celebrating?
-Why is it worth celebrating?
-Why was it an important goal to achieve?
-How does it make me feel?
-What did I do to achieve that goal?
-Who have I become in the process?
Tell me are you comfortable celebrating yourself? Are you comfortable celebrating your accomplishments with others? If you could celebrate in one way, any way, what would you do? We would love to hear in the comments below.
Create your very own desires jar
One of the most important things we can do as a happy woman is to connect deeply with our desires. You cannot have what you want unless you ask.
When we want things for ourselves as well as for the world, in my opinion, it is then that the universe conspires to make it happen.
Unfortunately we can often feel ashamed or undeserving when there is so much suffering in the world. But when we push our desires away we perpetuate the problem. The more of us that state “what we want” the more others will state “what they want”.
And for me that means change. Change for the better. Each of us will be working toward a better life for ourselves and our families and for the world.
We are unique human beings offering a unique experience in the world. Desires allow it to come alive.
I have been stating and creating my desires, intentions, and visions for a long time. What I have found is that the more I do it the more my vision comes alive. But more importantly I find more clarity into what I want and what I am really good at. It is a practice just like anything else.
It is easy to get lost in what other people have and want. We see people on social media, tv, and in magazines. Lives are glorified and we think “things” will make us happier. Ultimately we aren’t after things, we are after feelings and solid values (more on this next week).
For today I am bringing you a really fun creative way to connect with your desires and ask yourself, “Is this really what I want?”.
It is called a Desires Jar. Watch the video on my blog to find out how to create it and how it will help you bring clarity to what you want.
But before you create your jar, you must write down everything you desire to create in 2017.
Change your thoughts, change your life
Have you heard of the book, “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life”, by Dr. Wayne Dyer?
I read it many years ago and the thing that drew me in was the title. Why? Because I have always felt that it is difficult to change your thoughts and any tips instantly make my ears perk up.
When it comes to personal development, changing your thoughts is one of the most important things you can doand one of the most difficult.
It is important because your thoughts create your reality. And for most of us, our reality need some updating.
It is difficult because you cannot see your thoughts.
When we change something like exercise, it is easy to see. We go from not going to the gym, to signing up, to going 3x a week. We can see that we have changed.
This for me has always been the challenge. However…
I recently got word to a really cool technique for changing your thoughts. It is so simple and so awesome.
Watch the video to find out the new cool trick that I love.
Why butterflies in your tummy are a good sign
When I was reflecting back on 2016, I was thrilled to learn that I doubled my revenue. This was amazing considering the year before I was ready to give up completely.
I can definitely attribute it to one thing in particular and it happened at the very beginning of last year.
It made a much bigger imprint than I thought. Right away I took action on it and I found myself supporting more than 15 clients within the first 6 months of launching my business.
In 12 months I was fully booked and now I am booked until April 2017.
So what is the secret to my success this year?
At the beginning of 2016, I found myself watching a live workshop with the beautiful Gabrielle Bernstein and Kris Carr and the title of the workshop was “Saying Yes to Your Life”.
Shortly after, I found myself saying YES to joining Mentor Masterclass, a 12 month Life Coaching Program taught by the amazing Jeannine Yoder. It totally changed my life in so many ways!
That was my first YES and it lead me to so many more.
I realized that there something to saying yes, but not to just anything. There was a trick to it.
The first thing you must do is identify what excitement feels like in your body. For me it feels like butterflies in my tummy or a quick jolt of pins and needles. Do you remember when you met your first boyfriend? Do you remember the feeling inside your body? Describe that feeling.
The next step is to say yes to whatever opportunity or experience makes you feel that way, whatever lights you up.
You see saying yes to what lights you up is like saying yes to yourself.
Don’t worry about how or why, you have to let go of control and let your body lead the way.
Once you get the hang of it you will know right away what is a full blown YES and then you must let go and receive all the goodness that comes from you saying yes to yourself.
How to identify your theme and create a vision board
As I shared last week, I do not create resolutions anymore because they never work. Instead I create a theme. I choose a positive word to focus on throughout the year.
Having a theme helps you focus on a feeling or an experience that you want to create more of in your life. Everyone wants to create more of something.
CLARITY, ABUNDANCE, PEACE, LOVE, GROWTH, SUPPORT, EASE…
Many of you wrote and said you could not choose one word. So, I created a short guided meditation to help. Click here to listen to the meditation.
In addition to choosing a theme word, I also create a vision board to support and remind me of my theme. I thought up the idea when I decided to change my desktop. I was board of looking at files and wanted to create something inspiring to look at.
I received a lot of questions asking how I created it. So I created a video to show you. It is really easy and super fun.
Once you have identified your theme, comment below with your WORD. Declaring your word out loud is as important as identifying it!
-or-
1. Post your theme and vision board on Facebook.
2. Post and tag me on Instagram @shaunayoga